Rabbit In The Snow
by Skittles1
Summary: It’s about Momiji, our favorite little rabbit boy! Momiji’s POV as he thinks about his past and goes on a little snowy trip on an evening full of reminiscing memories.


**Author's Note: **Wow! I'm actually _very_ proud of this one! It's about Momiji, our favorite little rabbit boy! ^__^ It's told from Momiji's POV as he thinks about his past and goes on a little snowy trip on an evening full of reminiscing memories. Please enjoy and review!

**Rabbit In The Snow**

**By: Lauren**

I sit with Hari, bored to death as I shuffle my peas on my plate in circles while squishing them together with my mashed potatoes, sculpting it into the image of a timid rabbit.

"If you're done eating, quit playing with your food." Hatori scolds me, sighing softly as he glances over at me. He must have noticed my brief desolate look as I studied my potato rabbit, for next he asks me, "Momiji, what is wrong?" Hari can tell there is something ticking inside me, something swelling up and growing so large that I might burst, but I cannot tell him what it is. He probably already knows.

Today is the same day that he erased Mama's memory so many years ago. Does he ever regret it? I don't know. Hari has enough troubles to worry, regret and contemplate about. As blind as he is, he can often see more than normal people can and understand the big picture. Just like…to have spring, you must endure winter. You have to have all four seasons. How could things grow without the melted snow to water them and renew them? But this is not about Hari right now; this is about me. For once, the 'quiet' rabbit wants to speak. The shy rabbit wants to be selfish, even if it is wrong. This is how I feel. Me. Momiji. The childish, smiling rabbit. Always smiling. But I guess you could say I'm not all that quiet sometimes…it depends on what your definition of 'loud' is. 

"Can I please go visit Tohru?" I question, giving Hari a pair of eager, watering eyes just for affect. "I miss her." I try to make my voice sound melancholy, which is surprisingly easy, before I perk up and began to plead. "Please, please, PLEEEEASSEEE HARI!" Hari knows I'm avoiding answering his question, but he doesn't push for a reply. After all, he does know what today is.

Tohru is such a sweet girl. She's like a light in all the darkness that surrounds the Sohma family. Sometimes I worry that she'll go out like a candle but then I realize that…darkness can't always exist where there is light. They can coexist, for one always needs the other. Well, now I'm really getting off track here. She was the first female to tenderly and fully embrace me since so long ago. Sure, I've hugged my cousins but they don't really count. Tohru is a person that I can't always fool with a smile, the first I spoke to of my feelings and my past. She helped me finally cry for once. She showed me that my wish- my belief- was not a foolish child's dream. No memory, no matter how painful, can ever be forgotten.

Hari tells me that I can go visit her. He probably thinks she will help comfort me, and if I go to her, I know that that is what will happen. I'll use her for support to get through today, but…today…I don't want support. I want to be able to bear this myself, for this is my burden and mine alone. We all have our own crosses to carry and that is part of the curse of the Sohma family. But…it is still good to know I have her to lean on. Maybe a visit with her will help and it might keep my thoughts busy until later.

I tell Hari I want to walk there alone, but he protests. After a lot of whining and pushing, he finally relents, for once, and allows me to walk there. He's probably being kinder and less strict to me because of it being _that _day. He accepts that I might need a little solitude but he only lets me go after he makes sure that I'm appropriately bundled up. It's chilly outside and it is snowing lightly already. Now, it's not that I don't want comfort or company nor that I don't want to see Tohru, for I originally intended to see her, but apparently my feet have a different idea in mind. Soon, I find myself at a place where I'm not supposed to be. How I got here without stopping is a mystery in itself, but as I said, sometimes my feet have a mind of their own. 

I look up at the house before me. It is quaint, on the edge of town and far on the outskirts of the Sohma household. Behind the house is the beginning of a forest but the deep green leaves are now gone, giving the branches a bare and naked look. But even so, their great trunks cast off angular shadows as the sun slowly sinks downward. Rocks hide in the shadows while moss clings onto them, hanging for dear life in the biting cold. A few bushes are managing to survive, clumping together as if to declare that this is where the forest ends and the yard begins. Some snow has begun to settle on the grass and gather together with the dusting that had already been there. The white, almost cotton candy looking snow rests on the trees, making them appear not so barren and alone. The pearly flakes swirl about me as they sparkle faintly in the golden sunlight. Since the house is in a rather elusive area, I easily sneak past the side and dash into the cover of the trees, rocks and bushes. 

The house is rather modern, complete with glass windows and blinds. I can see a twist of gray smoke rise out of the stout chimney protruding from the roof. Lifting my head carefully above the cover of the bushes, I make sure that I won't be seen before I glance up at the large window, smack dab in the back of the house. It is beautiful, misted over slightly with frost, giving it a shaded, icy appearance. Yet I can still see through it, for only the corners are frosted. The beige drapes are pulled back, giving me a fill view into the dining room. A long, oak table stands up proudly with comfy-looking pillows set around for seats. The table is heaped up with delicious food, making my mouth water and my stomach grumble, while I grow angry that I never finished my mashed potatoes at Hari's house. 

There is turkey, corn, potatoes, soup, chicken and much more. It is like a feast. Soft light is cast from a pair of cyan candles. Papa is placed at the head of the table, sitting up straight with a big grin plastered on his face. I've never seen him look so happy nor smile so largely when I'm around. Mama is now walking into the room with a pot of tea, her golden hair cascading down her back. She calls out, saying something and promptly little Momo comes bounding into the room, her eyes alight with joy. She kisses Papa on the cheek and he ruffles her hair; Mama giggles, and for a brief moment, a single fraction in time, I see myself with them. I see myself walking into the room, kissing Mama and Papa on the cheek too and gently nudging Momo's arm playfully before I sit down at the table happily, a genuine smile on my face.

Then, as quick as it came, it is gone and I'm out in the cold and I am all alone and my family is inside in the warm house, eating joyfully, not a single thought spent on me. Only Papa knows me yet at the same time, he doesn't. I wish I could know Momo and that she could know me. I wish Mama would remember me. She took away so much from me when she took her memory away. Not only did she take away herself, but she took Papa and Momo too.

How can you just forget your son? Your first child? How can you reject them because of a defect? Is that how she saw me? A defect? A freak? I will try not to be mad at you Mama, but it still hurt so much that you rejected me because of a stupid curse. Not all Sohma mothers reject their children, but you did. An embrace isn't everything…

Please remember me. Please never truly forget me. I must believe and you should too, all of you; Mama, Papa and Momo.

A pair of noisy, twittering birds fly out of the tree above me, startling me as clumps of snow drop on my head, bringing me out of my thoughts. Why am I here? I wonder.

If anyone were to find out I had been here or if anyone were to see me, I'd be in **_SO _**much trouble. It was stupid of me to come here, and so risky too. I guess, for once, I just wanted to be part of a family and for them to know me. I want to be able to smile without forcing it and for them to _know _I exist. 

Looking upward, back at the window, I freeze as my gold eyes meet the innocent, wide eyes of my little sister staring directly at me. My jaw drops, as I stay stock-still, before my senses kick it and return to me. I quickly duck behind the bushes, trembling as I shake my head in disappointment at myself. I slipped and goofed up everything….yet…at the same time…I am glad. She knows I exist, even if she doesn't know who I am.

If I could hear through glass, I would have heard Momo turn to Mama and say, "Mommy, I saw something in the yard! Where did it go? It looked like a person!"

And then Mama would have replied, "No honey, it was probably just an animal, like a rabbit or something of the sort." And then they would all turn back to their meals, the fleeing rabbit fleeing from their thoughts also.

I run out of the woods as fast as my feet can carry me, running down the street and heading towards the town again where I'll visit Tohru like I said I would. Maybe I'll take the train through town. Glancing over my shoulder, I look at the little quiet house with the smoke rising upward, and a genuine, small smile graces my lips as I blink my eyes, freeing of them the tears that have gathered there. Brushing same loose snow off of my shoulders, I turn back around and head over to the train station, the snow not seeming too cold and numb to me anymore.


End file.
